The Rt Rev'd Hildegaard-Marie von Rothschild Westchester de Haviland Gardner, Bishop for Feline Forces world-wide.

The Rt. Revíd Hildegaard-Marie von Rothschild Westchester de Haviland Gardner


Let me introduce my Cat


Highland Shepherd Resources


The Minister's Cat

Parlour Game



Scratch a cat and you will have a permanent job.






The In and Out Song


Garrison Keillor


Songs of the Cat



The naming of cats is a difficult matter.

It ist just one of your holiday games.

:T.S. Eliot

Lettiní the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier ín puttiní it back.
:Will Rogers

Well, I wanta go out!

Open that door if you love me!

Gotta go out

Ė wanta breathe the air.

I gotta get loose

with that blue sky above me

Iíve been here long enough;

I gotta be there...


I want to come in!

Whatís the matter?

Canít you hear me?

Wanta come in; I am your cat

I gotta get warm

with the people I love dearly

Iíve been gone a long long time

and now Iím back...


I want to go out...

Iím an independent creature!

I am a cat with a wandering eye.

Itís a call of the wild

Ė I gotta get back to nature.

These paws are made for walking

and now its time...


Ok, Iím back.

But not for long; Iíll soon be gone.

Give me a bite now

Ė and Iím on my way.

Now open that door

and Iíll Ė good grief itís snowiní!

Open up, let me in!

Iím back to stay.


Well, now itís stopped;

so thanks for all your loviní.

Gotta hop that freight

Ė Iím a rambling guy.

Gotta hit that road

Ė itís in my blood or something.

I know youíll understand,

So please donít cry...


Hello, itís me.

I knew youíd probably miss me.

So I came back

Ė cuz I missed you so.

But I canít stay long

Ė so kindly come and kiss me.

I think I hear that

lonesome whistle blow...


Iím on my way...

gotta leave my Mom and Daddy...

gotta say good-bye...

wanta hear that high away hum.

Now Iím all alone

Ė Iím feeling so unhappy.

Itís time that I went back

where I came from...


Yes itís time to go back.

Time to put that road behind me.

I drift away

Ė but Iím going back now.

Itís a little white house

itís that Picket fence and the ivy...

Iíll scratch on the door Ė meow Ė


Itís me! Let me in!

I can hear you talkiní in there!


The trouble with a kitten is that
Eventually it becomes a cat.
:Ogden Nash

No matter how hard you try,
you canít baptize cats!



To err is human, to purr is feline.

:Robert Byrne


In the dark all cats are grey.
:Ben Franklyn


     Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ainít so; it is the sickening grammar that they use.

:Mark Twain


Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose. 

:Garrison Keillor